You know what's fantastic?
Mind-blowing, out-of-this-world, just unbelievably, uniquely and unequivocally fantastic???!?!?
*long, drawn out silence...
Yeah, okay. A bit anti-climactic, I realize. Don't think I don't. I do. Really. But, if you're like me, you'll know what I'm talking about. And if you're normal, you'll look at me like I'm some sort of vermilion-coloured unicorn/tree squirrel, thinking I know he's a bit odd, but there must be some logical reason for his existence.
Don't worry, I'll help you out. Just take my hand - wow, those are soft, do you moisturize? - and I'll guide you through the seemingly nonsensical ramblings of my mind.
Words just do it for me, you know? There's something irresistibly seductive about a beautiful bit of wordplay and the way it's presented which, given the right proportions and context, can really melt my proverbial butter. And no, for you sick logophiliacs out there, my wife has never dressed up in a word costume for a night of passionate lovemaking, regardless of how much I beg.
Alluring alliterations, ironic phrasing, and perfectly balanced sentences, I love it all. And, of course, there's just something particularly satisfying to a lover of language about finding the perfect word in a given situation, le mot juste. But, more than anything, I, like most people, just like the funny.
We love to laugh. And though you've likely heard the phrase a picture is worth a thousand words, it's usually the written or spoken word which reigns as King of comedy. People go see live comedians all the time (probably better value than the dead ones, I reckon), and usually it's because they're verbally hilarious. A good comedian can make you spill your guts with laughter, only using words and sentences and vocabulary stuff to do it.
Don't get me wrong, visual jokes have their place, absolutely. They usually ensnare the attention of the target audience in the first place, but it's language that keeps things interesting. How many memes have you come across on Facebook today? Twenty, thirty million? Typically, the ones with the highest funny factor include a word or two (if not a couple sentences) to provide a punchline. Imagine this: A picture of a soiled diaper soaring through the air. The image is interesting enough, if not mildly amusing. But it's the caption that sells it. "I've found something waaaay better than potatoes for my PVC cannon!"
Some of my favourite things to read are short and simple (the exact opposite of my blog articles, oddly enough). Clever public vandalism, in particular. Ever experience one of these rare gems first-hand? It makes your day, I guarantee it. When someone is able to harmlessly apply a bit of sardonic wit for the benefit of the public at large, it warms my fat little heart like bacon on a griddle.
Clever vandalism is harmless, if tastefully done. There's just something so damn, well, Canadian about it. It happens all around the world, of course, but it just seems born of this country. It's a gentle mix of rebellion against the "machine" and completely harmless passive aggressiveness designed not to offend anyone. Canadian.
And, quite often, it is the added message that allows us to remember the original posting in the first place. Typical public service announcements lose me as soon as I realize their message has a motive behind it, discarded in my mind with other useless drivel like grade 11 math and names of people who aren't important enough for me to pay attention to and that I've forgotten as soon as they tell it to me. But the post-print content, the funny stuff, that sticks, and so I remember the whole thing, because hey, what's a good joke without context?
So go ahead, you have my permission to deface any property in the public's eye, so long as it's clean, in good taste, and above all, witty. Everything's better with the funny.
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